Men unveil unique challenges and joys of fatherhood

Men unveil unique challenges and joys of fatherhood Jun 16, 2024 News By: Davina Bagot Rawle Toney Rawle Toney, a renowned sports journalist, iBet ambassador and entrepreneur, became a father on December 30, 2008. Toney, like any young man, experienced a blend of emotions, bursting with excitement and shock when he learnt he was being blessed with a child. “I used to hang out a lot so that had to cut significantly. I had to choose between being a parent and continuing that lifestyle,” the journalist and businessman recalled. Toney said that new chapter of his life was a challenge in the beginning as he navigated a different path to balance parenthood. “There are things I could not have done anymore because it had a direct impact on my family. It was a challenge adjusting to that lifestyle, especially knowing that you are not really living for yourself but there is someone whose livelihood depends on your existence,” he said. Although Toney felt he was not ready for this new chapter of his life, the young man made preparations for the arrival of his son, anticipating a mini version of himself. Toney told The Waterfalls that one thing he is most proud about as a father is being blessed with the opportunity to mold someone’s life; this journey becomes more rewarding he said when your child knows what they want. “It’s rewarding to see my son excel today at what he wants to do. Knowing I played a part in raising an absolute amazing human and nurturing them, helping to strike a balance between school, entertainment and ensuring they don’t make the same mistakes you made while growing up, granted the circumstances are different…For somebody like me, growing up, I was never short of anything so I make every effort to ensure my children are comfortable, which is rewarding.” On January 5, 2019 the journalist’s life changed for the better after he became a father to the most adorable little girl. The thought of being a dad to a little girl made Toney both nervous and excited. He said, “I now had to be protective of both my son and daughter and I was nervous to know I had to be her first love and show her how to be treated and valued and that is challenging and frightening but the journey has been really good and for someone like me that has a daughter that is into sport and is almost identical to me.” Although raising a daughter in today’s society with all the new accepted norms, the journalist encouraged fathers and potential dads to embrace fatherhood. He said, “Regardless of the circumstances- separated, married or with the person you made that child with, your role still remains the same. Provision doesn’t necessarily mean financially but provision in terms of being there for your child, irrespective of the circumstances. Being there for the child does not mean you need to be intimate with the partner.” Brandon Rockliffe For the past four years, Brandon Rockliffe has been separated from his only child, an energetic five-year old who lives abroad with his mother. Rockliffe, a graphics designer recalls being speechless, when he learnt he was going to be a father. Unfortunately, the young man did not have a good relationship with the mother of his child and the two subsequently ended their relationship. The young lady left the country a year and about two months after the little boy was born. “It’s been four years now since I last saw him in person. He would send me voice notes now and so on and we communicate over the phone,” Rockliffe explained. Keeping in contact with his son via phone has not always been easy since the internet connectivity would frequently pose difficulties. “At first, I used to have an issue with internet and it was hard to communicate when he was younger cause he wasn’t talking but eventually he grew up and now I get to speak to him more. Every weekend, we speak to each other because during the week he goes to school,” the young man told The Waterfalls. Brandon said he often thinks about his son and misses not being able to teach him how to ride a bike or play ball. “He’s always asking when we would play football together and he likes spider-man so he would say he wants to be the red spider-man and I would be the black spider-man,” the emotional father said. Even though he has not been able to see his son physically over the past years, Brandon said he feels fatherhood is a blessing. His advice to young men is to take responsibility for their children. He said, “You have to drop certain things like parties and so on and just get serious and provide for your kids.” Balwant Singh Fifty-five-year-old Balwant Singh, a welder, became a father 16 years ago on October 16, 2008. The father of four recalled that when he learnt he was going to be a father, he was filled with excitement. He told The Waterfalls, “Some challenges I face today with this generation of kids is that they don’t listen when you talk to them. They want their own way and always say how he or she can do this why I can’t.” Singh is better known in his community as Paul. He said the best thing about being a father is seeing his children become successful. According to him, “It makes me proud to know that I was able to raise and mold such smart children with good qualities.” Paul said his advice to young men or fathers to be is to ensure you are educated and learn a trade, work hard and honest; try to get your own home; be faithful to your wife; keep God first place and live happy. Travis Reid Travis Reid finds fulfillment in being a father to his only son. Reid became a dad in 2014 and while he was shocked to learn of the news, he was equally filled with joy and immediately began drafting a plan for his future. Reid works in the aircraft engineering department and told The Waterfalls he tries his best to have his child engaged in outdoor activities but this has been a challenge since this generation is vastly different from when he grew up. “This generation is different so getting my son to go outside is a challenge. Getting him involved in cricket and climbing is one of the challenges. Another challenge would be its era so there’s a different speech exposure and being able to accept that things are different now,” Reid shared. He said one of the best aspects of fatherhood is the joy and fulfillment you experience watching them grow and develop life skills, gain an education and watching a smaller version of himself. His advice to young men or fathers to be is to be careful who they listen to for parental guidance. He explained, “Every situation is different and you must learn to be patient with your child. Be careful how you accept advice from the elderly too because the times are different.” Additionally, Reid said along his journey of fatherhood, he has learnt the power of bonding and patience and trying to understand situations from a child’s point of view while still being strong enough to provide direction. Ryan Pires Ryan Pires, a disc jockey (DJ) and radio host, was not always the ideal father to his children. The father of three, two boys and a little girl, was blunt about his past mistakes and failing on his responsibilities while he was young, something that he is working to correct. “I am not proud of my mistakes but I have to own up to them and let you know that I wasn’t always perfect but I am now trying to be the best I can for my children,” the DJ said. Listeners of Kaieteur Radio would know Ryan as DJ Juggy. He was 19 years old when he became a father. “I was out partying for my birthday on October 14 in 2013 and one of my friends pulled me in a corner and said the baby was here,” he said. Juggy recalled that he was still a teenager when his high school love told him she was pregnant. “I was completely blank because having a child was a huge responsibility and I wasn’t prepared mentally at that time but I allowed her to go along with the pregnancy. Throughout her pregnancy, I was there for her and used to rub her belly with Limacol and thing,” the DJ said. After learning that his son was delivered on October 15, Juggy explained, “Right away, I became sober in a second. It was completely awesome. I rushed down to the hospital and spoke with the doctor and learned that the delivery was safe and smooth. I cried when I laid eyes on my son for the first time because I was amazed I did this.” He said his fatherhood journey went great for about five months however he soon became “lackadaisical” and parted ways with his family. “I was not in the picture, started partying for some months…I wasn’t there much but I ended up with another girl a year after and I had another baby on September 29, 2015,” the DJ shared. For him, his challenge as a father was being immature. According to him, “I was not thinking straight, I lacked common sense, was foolish and wasn’t taking life that serious cause at that time, I was very young. I was not paying attention to the important things around me and at that time, being a young father I can say that I did not appreciate the great blessings I had when I was younger but now being 30 that mindset has left and God has allowed me to be mature and my only priority is setting my life stronger so I can make sure my kids benefit from my labour.” The DJ said he is looking forward to see his children perform well in school and making sure they don’t make the same mistakes he made. He said the best thing about being a father is seeing his kids face brighten up every time he sees them and spends time with them. His advice to young men is to not have a child if they are not ready to be a father, but to use protection. “My main advice I would love to give all the fellas, I’m sure all men know sex comes for free, but shout out to all women who still have self-respect, but men are putting women in a position where they feel useless, because they are looking for love but where men are concerned, it’s easy to tell them you love them and you will care for them but it’s completely not okay for you to get her pregnant and she has to foot all the bills. It is not fair. I put my son’s mother in that position in that past and was deeply disappointed but I am grateful that they know their kids have a father that loves them equally with all the blood circulating around my heart.” Balwant Singh, Brandon Rockliffe, Rawle Toney, Ryan Pires, Travis Reid