Golden sneakers. Nonfungible tokens. Jingoistic Bibles. Much ado has been made about the baubles and bibelot a cash-strapped Donald Trump keeps peddling to MAGA-heads. But one can wear a Trump shoe, auction a Trumpy digital asset and ponder Matthew 19:24 and 1 Timothy 6:10 while reading the Lee Greenwood version of the Good Book. The downside for Trump? All cost money to produce.
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Which is perhaps why Trump is increasingly offering prospective 2024 presidential campaign donors trinkets and honorifics with effectively no discernible value at all — in exchange for a cash contribution. Raw Story has assembled a running list, as drawn from Trump’s various fundraising emails and text messages during the past many months, as he seeks to defeat President Joe Biden and win back the White House:
Gold card
Upside: The “NEVER SURRENDER 2024 GOLD LIMITED EDITION” card sure is shiny. It’s also made of “METAL.”
Downside: You may be a fool if you believe that metal is really gold. You’ll also get more mileage from any credit, debit, ATM or senior discount card found in your wallet.
Source: Donald Trump campaign
Platinum card
The “TRUMP 2024 BALLOT DEFENDER PLATINUM LEVEL METAL LIMITED EDITION” is advertised to a “TOP SUPPORTER” who has earned Trump’s “PLATINUM RATING.” That Trump’s campaign sent it to anyone subscribed to his email list, including journalists, should provide adequate evidence about its exclusiveness.
Source: Donald Trump campaign
Black card
Just like the gold card and the platinum card. Except it’s black. The Trump campaign did not respond to Raw Story’s several requests for comment.
Source: Donald Trump campaign
Life member
A “2024 Trump Life Membership” might seem like a pretty sweet deal. After all, this membership is being offered to you by a man who owns hotels and golf courses and luxury resorts. Unfortunately, the “life membership” comes with a 100 percent guarantee that if you enter Mar-a-Lago using this as your lone credential, your visit will be brief.
Source: Donald Trump campaign
Diamond Club member
If diamonds are forever, why not just get a Trump life membership and save yourself some confusion.
Source: Donald Trump campaign
Day One member
This will signify your membership to what Trump is calling the “Trump National Committee” — a joint fundraising arrangement between Trump’s presidential campaign committee and the Republican National. The only tangible benefit? A lighter wallet.
Source: Donald Trump campaign
Advisory board member
Excited to support a self-styled “day one” dictator but aren’t ready for a full-time gig? Buy your way onto the “2024 Trump Advisory Board” and become a “trusted” adviser to the man who wants to become our nation’s 47th president. But rest assured that if you do, the person who Trump is pictured talking to on the phone will not be you.
Source: Donald Trump campaign
President’s Trust member
A cool $35 will snag you this gig. No details whatsoever on what rights or responsibilities this will entail.
Source: Donald Trump campaign
Campaign Cabinet member
Most of the members of Trump’s presidential Cabinet aren’t too jazzed about the former president again seeking the White House. Enter the “OFFICIAL TRUMP CAMPAIGN CABINET.” This new Cabinet “will be made up of my most ELITE, PATRIOTIC, and TRUSTED supporters that are up for the ULTIMATE challenge – providing my team and I with valuable insight and advice as we make some of the most important decisions leading up to the 2024 Presidential Election and BEYOND,” Trump writes. What’s the catch? Just donate “ANY AMOUNT IMMEDIATELY,” and you, too, can start channeling your inner Wilbur Ross and begin taking lots of naps. (Trump might even say you’re as “dumb as a rock.”)
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