When did you feel you needed to settle down and start a family? This (marriage) thing is almost spiritual because nobody tells you. You just wake up one morning and say, “Yes, it is time!” and nobody can persuade you otherwise. As for the meeting with my wife, it was chemistry, as they call it. I really cannot explain but she was the one I liked. I met her a long time ago around 1987. I think we met at the television station in those days. She had come to do a summer job. I don’t think they do that anymore. We were already working then.
How has it been managing your time as an actor and family man? One cardinal rule is ‘Don’t take work home.’ Can you imagine if I took all the characters I played home to my family? Can you imagine how many they’d be for the past 49 years? When I go back home, I am just Akin Lewis, a father and a husband and a brother and a friend. I really don’t get it mixed up. My feet are firmly planted on the ground and I know who I am.
How do you then balance your time with your career and your family? Even if no one can get through to me, my family always has a way to talk to me, even when I am on set. They are aware of my job, so it is not a thing of surprise. Before I go to work most time, my wife and I speak and then we may meet at night when I come back. She doesn’t disturb me. She knows I am working. If I see her call when I am on set, I must answer because I know it must be very important. The lines have been drawn and we know our boundaries so we don’t disturb each other.
How have you been able to live scandal-free throughout your career? I have had the grace of God on the one hand. Secondly, I am a very spiritual person though people don’t know that. There are certain things I cannot be caught doing because of God. It took a conscious effort to say, ‘This is how I want to live my life.’ I decided not to go down the negative routes, and that was a lot of hard work. God has enabled me to stay out of trouble. I mentor people.
What is your advice to younger entertainers who are about to get married? I have been in the business of marriage since 1987 even though I am remarried now. The truth is that it is the things that you value that will help you to live a good life. You have to work hard to make your marriage work. I don’t see a lot of young people wanting to work hard to make their marriage work. Marriage is like a garden. You have to work on it to make it look beautiful.
If you were not an actor, what work would you have loved to do? I would have been a lawyer or an ambassador.
