Commentary: Forcing chilli into a child’s mouth to discipline them is not tough love

POSITIVE PARENTING AS AN ALTERNATIVE Parents often resort to physical punishments out of frustration or a lack of alternative methods of discipline. We all recognise that parenting is inherently challenging, especially in a busy and competitive society like Singapore. In moments of stress and anger, it can be difficult to resist the urge to use physical punishment as a quick fix. However, it is crucial to recognise that these actions are more about alleviating our parental frustration than educating or guiding the child. Positive parenting provides a compassionate and evidence-based alternative to corporal punishment. This approach emphasises nurturing, guidance and non-violent discipline to create a supportive environment for children’s growth. Positive parenting techniques include setting clear and consistent boundaries, using time-out and rewarding positive behaviour. Research has shown that positive parenting is effective. A meta-analysis published in the Psychological Bulletin revealed that positive parenting practices are linked to higher academic achievement, improved mental health and better social skills in children. Additionally, positive parenting helps to strengthen the parent-child relationship by fostering trust and open communication. I often recommend The Parenting Pyramid, developed by the Arbinger Institute, to parents as I find it to be a particularly useful approach to parenting. The pyramid emphasises that effective correction relies on effective teaching, which in turn depends on a strong parent-child relationship. The foundation of the pyramid is the parents’ personal well-being, underscoring the importance of a healthy, positive mindset when parenting.