I would have never guessed that being single, juggling my career, graduate school, and parenting two toddlers would be stamped on my bingo card. But here I am, thriving despite it all.
As a single mom of two, every achievement feels even sweeter. Every achievement reminds me and shows my children that no dream is too distant. Graduating with a Master’s of Social Work from the University of Texas at Arlington with two toddlers feels more than a personal achievement. It’s a testament to perseverance and the unwavering support of my incredible village.
It all began three years ago. After the relationship with their dad ended due to his infidelity, I decided to prioritize myself. Though I hoped we’d co-parent well, it didn’t turn out that way. So, I became laser-focused on being the best mom I could be. As a first-generation high school and college graduate, I knew obtaining another degree would be challenging. However I didn’t realize how different those challenges would be in my present reality.
In fact, as I started to discuss my plans to continue my graduate studies with others, some saw it as courageous, while others thought balancing deadlines with diapers was outright crazy. Many suggested waiting until my children were school-aged. While I welcomed their feedback, I knew it could be done. I just had to figure out how.
I dared to disrupt the idea that single motherhood had to be synonymous with struggle or that my dreams should be placed on the back burner to be a good mother. Above all, I wanted to model perseverance and the value of education for my kids. So, when my eldest was 15 months old, and my youngest was just 3 months old, our journey began.
Balancing my career in political organizing with late-night assignments, mandatory practicums for my MSW, and early mornings of Pixar’s “Finding Dory” was challenging. Still, those precious moments of mimicking the whale sounds made by Dory with my children fueled my determination.
While I never found quite the right work-life balance people rave about, our trio cultivated systems and routines that worked for us.
Our days were long, and my nights were longer. During different stages of my graduate program, I adapted our routine. When my children napped, I scheduled work blocks to focus on work calls and client updates. The boys knew that Tuesdays were laundry days, and they loved helping with loading the washer and unloading the dryer. Online grocery orders saved us time, and the boys enjoyed bringing in groceries and stocking drinks in the refrigerator. Picking up their own toys and putting them away when not in use became habitual. At bedtime, we sang nursery rhymes together until they fell asleep, and then I’d read for my courses and write to stay on track.
Involving them in our routine kept them busy and engaged. With their love and constant support, we not only survived but thrived.
Being recognized as one of 17 outstanding students out of a graduating class of over 200 is an honor. It recognizes the nights of hard work and determination. But more than that, I’m proud that my sons are polite and mannerable. At ages 2 and 3, they can identify most of the alphabet, count and identify numbers beyond 20, recognize primary colors and shapes, know the careers of people in their neighborhood, their names, my name, our address, and more.
For us, this degree represents countless nights balancing deadlines with their growth and development milestones — from first steps to first assessments, from my endless chapters of reading to their bedtime stories, from practicum hours to scheduled playdates. We made it work.
I set a goal to finish what I started for them. In the end, we did this together.
